Patti (Sarles) Hart was getting her nails done on the day she was leaving for Africa. She started a conversation with a woman who said she donated fruits and vegetables from her garden every week to those in need. Hart offered lemons from her loaded tree, picking 300 and delivering them on her way to the airport.
“I never would have done something like that when I was working,” said Hart, a 1978 business administration graduate. “Going the extra mile to make a difference is what I’m really loving about this stage of life.”
After three decades in technology industry leadership positions, Hart retired as chief executive officer of International Game Technology, a global leader in gaming. She made Fortune Magazine’s inaugural list of “Most Powerful Women,” and served as an executive at the Sprint Corporation.
Hart retired at 49 because she thought she had done enough, had enough, and sacrificed enough. But rather than feeling a sense of freedom, she felt unmoored, invisible, lonely. She failed retirement.
Corporate life was more comfortable. Everyone in her circle was still working so she served on corporate boards and managed a portfolio of projects, trying to find the identity that had disappeared.
“I did everything wrong,” she said. “I kept working. It was pretty lonely. Everyone else I knew was going to an office every day. I didn’t have a plan. I didn’t have a community. I didn’t have a story.”
Four years later, she was back at work.
“I just got anxious like I think many people do and boomeranged right back in,” Hart said. “One of the biggest surprises for me was how much my professional life defined me. You walk around with this business card for 35 years and the first time you meet anyone, it’s ‘What do you do.’ I had become my job, and I had really lost the sense of who Patti was.”
Eight years later, she retired again, but this time was different. She had prepared by prioritizing her needs, not that it was easy either. “Getting over the guilt of doing that was really hard,” she said. “I worked 35 years to have the right to have an empty calendar, but then I have guilt because I have an empty calendar.”
Hart is sharing what she learned in a book she wrote with her husband, Milledge Hart, who retired with her in 2017. The Resolutionist: Welcome to the Anti-Retirement Movement is a guide on how to stay curious and engaged in life.
Even if you’re years away from cutting the cake, start thinking about what gives you purpose and how you’ll replace the structure of work and community.
Hart isn’t fond of the word “retirement” because of the images that come to mind—old, bored, tired, and lonely. The generation retiring today has worked the past 30 to 40 years to challenge norms in the workplace, from the role of women to the dress code, and they’re not stopping now.
“Retirement is no longer a story of old age,” she writes in her book. “It’s a story of long life.”
And lives are getting longer. Between 1960 and 2015, life expectancy for the total population in the U.S. increased from 69.7 to 79.4 years. From 2016 to 2060, we’re expected to reach an all-time high of 85.6 years.
You may be retired as long as you worked, and that’s why Hart believes everybody needs a plan beyond the send-off party. Even if you’re years away from cutting the cake, start thinking about what gives you purpose and how you’ll replace the structure of work and community.
Retirees she interviewed for the book said the one thing they wished they’d done differently was to have the courage to prioritize themselves.
“This discomfort associated with putting yourself first carries over into the early part of retirement,” she writes. “We look for validation that we’re still relevant. If someone says they need us, we don’t want to disappoint. But every opportunity is not the right opportunity.”
Before she and her spouse make a commitment, they ask if their participation will make a difference, if they have the time to do it well, and if it’s something they want to do.
“If it’s not meaningful, why are you even looking at it? There is no reason at this stage to do anything you don’t choose to do. Don’t let someone guilt you into something you don’t want to do. Your time is still a limited resource.”
But there’s also the pull to be there for others, including aging parents, children, and grandchildren. One of the greatest gifts of Hart’s retirement was being able to spend the last year of her mother’s life with her.
Hart keeps hearing that she’s a better person now, and she knows that’s true. She’s no longer distracted by texts and emails and is not only more present for family and friends, but for herself.
Of the 12 resolutions in her book, her favorite is the one she admits she still hasn’t mastered—letting go of the fear of missing out. She recalled the day she attended an industry luncheon and realized she was missing a gorgeous day. She finished her salad, went home, and took a walk.
Now 66, Hart lives in Northern California, far from where she grew up in the Illinois river town of Marseilles. The only one of five children to go to college, she found Illinois State on her own. ISU is where she learned how diverse the world is and found her identity.
“I grew up in a life of great sameness. Everyone’s skin was the same color, people all went to church, everybody celebrated Christmas. What became so obvious to me so quickly was the diversity of the campus. When I think back on what was the most profound impact on my life, that was it,” Hart said.
“I loved that I was learning that there were all of these different ways to live and no right or wrong way. I could have very easily chosen a university that continued my narrow way of living. I’m really glad I didn’t.”
Hart planned to pursue accounting but loved the creative side of business she discovered in a marketing class. She excelled at ISU and beyond, becoming a member of the College of Business Hall of Fame and later receiving the University’s Distinguished Alumni Award in 2015.
As she and Milledge prepared for retirement, they started a bucket list of dreams—from riding a rollercoaster on the Santa Cruz boardwalk to tracking the great apes in Rwanda. Some were more spontaneous, like the time they wrote messages, rolled them into a bottle, and drove them to the Pacific Ocean.
But she didn’t have to go far to find something that’s important to her now, namely being a good neighbor. And that circles back to the lemon tree. Neighbors who want lemons get a “lemon drop.” She learned to make limoncello last summer and delivered jars of the sweet liqueur. Neighbors started texting her photos of what they made, from martinis to a cake.
“I think people were shocked,” she said. “They were wondering, ‘Is this the same Patti Hart I lived next to for 23 years?’” The answer is no, and she couldn’t be happier about that. “I’m a much better person,” she said. “This is really what I worked so hard to earn.”
Advice from the authors
In their book, The Resolutionist: Welcome to the Anti-Retirement Movement, Patti and Milledge Hart offer a guide on how to make the most of post-career life. Here are some of their ideas:
- Rip the Band-Aid off. Are you doing things that tie you to your previous life? Those who make the easiest transition make a clean break. Change your life in a way that will create new patterns, behaviors, circles of friends, and stimulate your brain.
- Prioritize yourself. Put your physical and mental health first. Make a list of things you want to see, learn or do. Remember, it’s a “to try” list, not a “to do” list. Don’t censor it. It might include something as simple as perfecting a recipe.
- Step out of your comfort zone. Keep learning. It’ll boost your confidence and remind you that you are capable and resilient. Patti challenged herself to use chopsticks throughout an entire meal.
- Develop an “elevator pitch,” two or three sentences about what’s important to you or what you’re doing this week. It doesn’t have to be impressive. The Harts say they’re watching the James Bond movies in order.
- Surround yourself with kindred spirits. When you retire, you lose about half of your social circle. Get involved in activities that connect you to others who are engaged in and curious about life and have different perspectives.