Holiday Inn — A ‘Stay Smart’ retirement plan that’s as unrealistic as it is hilarious

Terry Robison struck a viral chord with his recent Facebook FB, -0.07% post in which he resurfaces an old trope about living out his twilight years with room service, pay-per-view, happy hour and free breakfast. All for the price of $59.23.

“No nursing home for us,” he wrote. “We’ll be checking into a Holiday Inn!”

Robison cited the average cost of nursing care of $188 a day — the national average for a private room comes to $253, according to SeniorLiving.org — and says that, by staying at Holiday Inn, he’d have an extra $128.77 to spend.

“Plus, they provide a spa, swimming pool, a workout room, a lounge and washer-dryer, etc,” Robison pointed out. “Most have free toothpaste and razors, and all have free shampoo and soap. $5-worth of tips a day and you’ll have the entire staff scrambling to help you.”

He added that the hotel provides security, maintenance, a maid to check if you’re OK and call an ambulance if not. What’s not to like?

“When I reach that golden age,” he concluded, “I’ll face it with a grin.”

Clearly, Robison’s vision of retirement continues to resonate across social media, as his post has now been shared more than 120,000 times, drawing praise from soon-to-be retirees facing an uncertain financial future.

There’s an element of gallows humor to Robison’s post, of course, but it’s also been recognized by some as a realistic option.

“I like the way y’all think!” one reader wrote. “I’ve actually met an elderly lady one time that was actually living in a Hampton Inn. She was quite content.”

But Sam Dogen of the popular Financial Samurai blog laughed it off.

“Although a fun idea, replacing a nursing home with ‘Holiday Inn Care’ is not going to fly in the later stages of your life,” he said. “The cleaners are there to clean your room, not to pick you off the floor when you’ve fallen and can’t get up. The front desk is there to switch on your After Dark Pay Per View, not to bathe you after you’ve soiled your undies.”

Dogen explains that a nursing home facility has registered nurses with years of experience to monitor your medication, provide personal care, offer 24-hour emergency care, and provide social and recreational activities.

“Although a nursing home might sound more depressing than staying at a Holiday Inn,” he said, “what’s more depressing is suffering alone in a Holiday Inn because they don’t have the proper equipment or trained staff to take care of you.”

Holiday Inn had this to say about the post.

“While we’re not certain how Mr. Robison arrived at his current budget calculations, we look forward to welcoming him when he reaches his ‘golden age,’” the company said in a statement reported by KHOU. “He did miss one big benefit in his long list of reasons to stay with us — kids eat for free at Holiday Inn. So that’s another excuse for the grandkids to come and visit.”

While Robison’s post is perhaps the most visible version, it’s not the first time the idea has been tossed around the internet. An email echoing his take popped up years ago, and Comfort LTC back in 2016 called it “a fallacy” that “shows a profound misunderstanding of what long-term care really is.”

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